Thursday, March 18, 2010

All Over My Face

The eczema, that is. My skin has never been this bad, and it's making me really self-conscious and insecure. The weather is getting a lot warmer and I'm wearing cardigans all of the time because of the scabs on my arms and pits and chest. Decollete? That's supposed to be the neck/cleavage area. And mine is marked with scales. And this week has been shit. I've been getting less than 4 hours of sleep every day. Three math tests (two of them finals), one history test, one 2500 word paper, one AP Bio night lab with another lab and AP Baby being due. Fuck. I'm really just ranting and complaining about my life.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Apparently, I've been pronouncing "moleskine'' wrong all of these years. MOLE-SKINE

I bought my first moleskine product today— a set of three red, pocket sized, lined Cahier Journals. For about 8 bucks at Borders. The only issue was that two of the three cahiers were defective. The cahiers have perforated pages, and they're supposed to be on the back of the notebook facing the pocket but in my defective notebooks, they were in the front. It's not really a big deal, more of an inconvenience. But I was really bummed out when I found out. But I did send Moleskine a message and included a picture of the defect so they should be sending me a new set in two weeks. I hope.

The pages annoy me more than they should...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Mountains Have Never Been More Beautiful

Today, I brought my camera with me to school. I was going to take a few last minute pictures for my photography class so I could edit them in class and just print and mount tomorrow, but I didn't really care enough to make an effort (story of my life!).

But the weather has been really lovely lately albeit FREEZING. It's so weird; the sky is bright and blue but the winds! Oh those frosty gusts! Very inconvenient.

So I took a bunch of pictures on my walk home from the bus stop. The last one is of the mailbox my mom and I installed over the weekend! It's sweet.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


I first heard of Billy Joel in the ninth grade, when my only friend in that stupid Renaissance class let me listen to some of his stuff. And I kind of put it aside until I heard an amazing cover of his song "Lullaby (Goodnight My Angel)"! I'm not normally a big fan of really sentimental songs because they make me cry but it turns out that the sentiment and tear-jerking is why I like this song. But I've been listening to this song on repeat the last couple of days and get really emotional whenever I do. It's really lovely.

And the cover! Which I like a little bit more than the original because Jane Lui has a beautiful voice and it makes a little bit more sense to sing it a little softer because, um, it's a lullaby.

P.S, Jane also does SUCH AN EXCELLENT COVER OF THE DUCKTALES THEME SONG! I used to love that show! And I think that I might have a videotape of one of the episodes!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Don Salsas

Sometimes, my mom gets coupons for this restaurant called Don Salsas. It's on 19th and some other street (I am not very good with street names), in the Stater Bros center. We normally go on the weekend, my mother sister and I. But sometimes, when there's not enough time and Emily's piano lessons are too close to when my mom gets off of work, she'll make a quick trip over to Don Salsas. Two number sixteens, carne asada burrito combos are our regular order.

The staff knows us by face. As far as I can see, there are really only two full time workers. The man cook and the lady waitress- who I imagine to be named Juanita, even though I have never met a Juanita in real life and have no real license to be naming Latinas because I am not Latina.

Juanita is a large women, with strong arms that can hold up to three full orders of food. She carries them over her head like a woman in the desert, with an open smile, smiling at the people who are too busy to smile back. She has a sweet accent, always saying thank you and you're welcome, but spews rapid-fire Spanish to her look-alike daughter who works at the register on the weekdays even though she is pregnant. They share bone structures and ponytails, mirror images of each other if mirrors could travel in time.

Two number sixteens, carne asada burrito combos are what we order because my mom likes routines and doesn't see the point in change. Because at this point, change is unnecessary when the tortillas are fresh and the meat is tender and the red sauce is nice and thick and the rice is steamy. I love my mom the most when we eat. I love my mom when she goes out to eat because she cradles her head in laced fingers and puts her elbows on the table and looks like how I imagine her to look when she was my age and younger. If mirrors could travel in time I wouldn't be my mom's mirror image. She was always slimmer than me, more slender than me even now. More fragile. Stronger.

But today was special- my mom and I went to Don Salsas. Because they have this special on the first Monday of every month, a buy one get one free kind of deal. The best kind. And today, I drove us there. Just me and my mom and my permit. And it was in that car, with my mom gripping on the door for dear life and me praying to some god that we wouldn't die and my mom telling me about her heart problems that I realized that roles are always reversed. Because for once, I was the one manning our Asian-mobile. The Sienna LE, the most perfect thing my dad has done as a husband, was under my control. And my mom was in the passenger's seat with blood pressure that rose parallel to the speedometer. How many times has it been the other way around? Uh, almost my whole life. My whole life up to age 16. But someday I will be an adult. And in charge of my own life, with my mom not at the forefront of my thoughts.

I will be the driver.